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Finally. School is officially back in session and the little ones are the teacher’s problem for eight hours a day. Phew. Whether the kids are back in school or away again at college, this is the perfect time to catch some of your favorite shows that are wholly too inappropriate to watch with the little ones. Whether it’s smooching or violence, you’ve got your pick of the litter with these shows.

Netflix

  • Shameless – Plenty of smooching, and violence; the deadly duo. Some of it involves kids, too, so probably best to wait until school’s in session for this one.
  • Weeds – A show which could give your kids the wrong idea about parenting.
  • Orange is the New Black – Prison shankings aren’t for the children.

HBO

  • Game of Thrones – Lots of naked people and blood. Far too much for kids.
  • Girls – Even more naked people, and somehow it gets more graphic than GoT.
  • The Sopranos – Mobs and murders, not really very PG-13.

Hulu

  • Children of the Corn – Just because it has children in the title doesn’t mean that kids should be watching it and getting nightmares.
  • American Horror Story – Probably best to keep nightmares about aliens, witches, and satan away from the kids.
  • Keeping up with the Kardashians – Best not to kill your kids’ braincells with mindless content.

Prime Video

  • The Wire – Almost as much murder as The Sopranos.
  • True Blood – Smooching, violence, and vampires, the things of my childhood nightmares.
  • Downton Abbey – Okay it’s not inappropriate for kids but they don’t wanna watch this. Finally, you can get through an episode without having a little person screaming nearby.